Scrupulous Musings
The Year: 2012
The Place: Atlanta, GA (otherwise known as the last frontier of the South, or at least that's what they want us to believe)
The Time: The Brink of the Fourth Turning
Who: Just a salty ad guy, Randy "Chief" shares his thoughts, ideas, bemused tidbits and advice on life, liberty and the utter lack thereof in our society with his trusty sidekick, Alexandra "Sport," unfailing optimist and old-fashioned spirit.
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Randy: “Did you know that I talked to Lorne Michaels, the Lorne Michaels of Saturday Night Live, and that I got Art Carney on Saturday Night Live?
Alexandra: “What??!!”
Randy: “Yeah. For three minutes there, I was a king maker on the Great White Way.”
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Alexandra: “I felt utterly emasculated.”
Randy: “That makes two of us, Sport.”
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“I went to Miller Union the other night. I don’t know if I’m such a big fan of this farm-to-table thing. I ordered a Manhattan, thinking I’d be staying hip with the trends. And then the waiter asked me what bourbon I’d like in my drink. Without really thinking, I said Maker’s. The look he gave me indicated that he thought I’d be better suited at a Houston’s.”
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“We’re peas in a pod, Sport. Except for how you vote. Other than that, we’re peas in a pod.”
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“Oh, hey! It’s my only two Facebook friends who know who Bernoulli is! Thank you, for having gone to college.”
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Randy: “Did I tell you about the time I tried to learn Spanish, just from reading household cleansers?”
Alexandra: “Um…”
Randy: “I got pretty good.”
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“Sport, I’m going to leave you with this thought tonight. Did you know, the US Constitution is losing cache as a model for other developing countries? Just thought I would share that with you. Maybe we can discuss it tomorrow.”
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I used to have one of those Quaker fireplace frames. You know, so I could have “fireside chats with Randy.” But they wouldn’t let me do it. Against the fire code apparently. But wouldn’t that have been nice?”
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Randy’s thoughts on what a warlord might say…
“This town is ours because the U.S. Army, with its long supply train and fat, slothful recruits from the third and fourth income quintiles, will never get here in time to stop us. Hahaha!”.
“Hahaha … first we destroy this squalid little place then we force Shariah law on the turd-like people of Oklahoma”.
“Had America not turned from Jesus we wouldn’t exist but that panty-waisted socialist in the White House will never send anyone to stop us. Burn the village”.
“Comcast has betrayed us for the last time. The villagers must die! Wait … there’s something on the beach …”.
